"If you don't put that paperclip down you're going to poke your eye out. Then there you'll be in the back seat of the car trapped in your car seat with your eyeball poked out. And then, because you are 6 and 1/2 and you can't help yourself, you'll pull the paperclip and your eyeball right out f your head. Then where will you be? Sitting in the backseat with your eyeball on the end of a paperclip and you'll just keep staring at it with your good eye and screamin' "AHHHHH!!!!!!" Do you think your father or I will care? No, we're just going to be getting the story ready in our minds. The story that we will forever taunt you with year after year as well tell it every holiday season. It will be known as, '2011, the year Noah poked his eyeball out screwing around with an unbent paperclip in the backseat of the car' story. Is that how you want to remember your 7th Christmas on this earth? Yeah, I didn't think so, give me the paperclip and find something better to do with your time."
True Story.
I'm thinking about giving out parenting advice in 2012, clearly I've got the communication skills down.
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