"inappropriate books"

There's a lot of hoopla going around Portland about a book called, "Suicide Bunny". If I have my information correct, and in this day of instant misinformation, it's possible I have a couple things wrong, there is a woman who wants the book pulled from her child's school library. In fact she is so against this book that she has the book checked out and is refusing to return it. And if the book appears on the shelves again she'll have someone else check that copy out and keep that one as well. Now, I have not read this book, but I have looked at some of the drawings on-line. Okay, it may not be 'appropriate' for some kids, but I'm so tired of other people deciding what's appropriate and what is not appropriate for everyone in the world.

I was an early reader, and like many early readers I ended up reading books that perhaps were not really suited for my age. I remember one clear example was Judy Blume's "Wifey". Judy Blume was the author for middle schoolers in my day. I read everything from "Are you there God, It's Me Margaret?" to "Deenie" and on to "Forever". Then one day I was searching the card catalog (I'm assuming my readers all know what that is), to see what else she might have written and there was a new book called"Wifey". It wasn't in the juvenile section, but in the adult books. No problem there, I had been reading non-fiction books and Agatha Christie mysteries from the adult sections without parental complain for quite some time. I found the book without trouble and settled in my favorite corner of the library to read it. Whoa, before the end of the first page I knew this was new territory. First page and I'm 'exposed' to a flasher wearing a stars and stripes motorcylce helmet. This would be an adventure.

I knew this was a book I should not read at home, and yet I was going to try (going with the theory it was by Judy Blume, and had been reading her for years so....) The high school girl at the check out counter tried to tell me I couldn't read the book, but Ms. Williams (my favorite librarian) overruled the girl and told me I could take it home, with the caveat that I had to tell my mom I had it ("oh sure," I lied) and if I had any questions about what I read I should ask her(I'm sure she meant ask my mom, but I took it to mean ask her)

Now, I know there are many who would be appalled that a librarian would allow a young girl to take such a racy book home (and if memory serves, it got racier still). But I say hooray for her. She understood that I was going to read the book one way or another. She understood that I was going to keep reading books above my comfort and perhaps comprehension level for a few more years until life caught up with my brain. I think she also wanted to foster a level of open dialogues. Now, it wasn't really going to happen in my household, but I am grateful she tried.

I think kids should be allowed to take home any book they want from the library. Do I think they should be able to read any book? Today I say yes, as my children age I may find that I might change my mind, I hope not. I think books and the multitude of ideas are too important to start keeping them from kids because you don't like the content. Instead of banning the books, read them along side your kid and then discuss what about it bothers you. Take a chance that they'll ask you questions (like when I asked my Mom what "69"while reading "Forever", she didn't know the answer but my older sister told us both...)

My mom freaked about my reading choices all the time. When I was in my Stephen King phase she was sure I was going to get into Satan worship (never even occured to me) and when I was "secretly" reading Harlequin romances at the library (forgive me I was a kid) she thought I was going to go down some wrong path (that included some sinful self pleasuring). But despite all her fears I cannot remember a time she told me I couldn't read something. (of course I hid a lot from her!) And for that I give her big thanks and major kudos. You'll just have to trust me when I say this was a big deal for her.

So to the woman who wants to ban "Bunny Suicide" I say, 'stay out of my library' You have every right to choose what comes into your home, but not what comes into my home. Take the book back and talk to your kids about books and freedoms, and not the tv cameras about your view of right and wrong.

And now I think I'll head out for our weekly trip to the library and see if I can't find some old friends to share with my kids.

Economics 101 by "N"

N was flipping thru an "educational" toy catalog last night. The catalog came home w/Patrick one day, seems it's for a new store that is aiming to get teachers in the door. And this is the conversation that ensued:

"I want to go to Daddy's school," N says

"What would you do at Daddy's school," I ask, thinking he'll say something about reading or hanging out with Daddy.

"So I could get these toys"

"Oh honey, those toys aren't at Daddy's school. You have to buy them"

"Okay, I want to buy them"

"Do you have any money?"

"No. could you buy them for me?"

"No, I don't have any extra money right now"

N ponders for a moment and then the light bulb goes off and he has a brilliant idea:

"I'll go the the Little Fred Meyer and they can give me money!" He declares.

"Why would they give you money?" I ask (trying not to giggle too much)

"well, if they want me to buy the toys the will give me money"

Ta-da. So, that's what I think, too. If the retailers of America want us to spend money this holiday season, they should start giving out cash.

oh happy day.

This is L after a day running around at Oregon Heritage Farms.

This photo is N after same day.

I am confident both had a great day. However, if you asked N at the end of the day if he had a good time, his answer was a resounding No! No amount of reminding him of all the fun things we did could pursuade him otherwise. A few months ago this would have been a great source of frustration to me. Luckily, someone wiser, and with much more mommy experience, reminded me that kids live in the moment. So, when you are leaving somewhere fun or making the child stop their favorite activity, all they can react to is the immediate moment. So, of course they are having no fun. It can be exasperating and disheartening. Particularly because it seems as if we fight the kids to go and then we fight them to leave. But, for that glorious in between it's a grand time.

So you live for the moments.

It was just my imagination

I always think I want to be one of 'those' moms You know, the ones who seem to be able to whip up a homemade costume, that actually looks like what it's supposed to be (not a sock on a string) . Or they always seem to have time to make the cupcakes with the fancy decorations, and dye the Easter eggs in perfect pastel colors.

But, every time I try to be one of 'those' moms no one has any fun. Because, all that stuff seems to be too precious and perfect for me to accomplish. And at some point I had to decide whether we were going to have fun or perfection. So, far I am trying to opt for fun. Thus we have elephant costumes that are made out of an old headband, construction paper and and a ratty old sock.

When it comes to Green Eggs and Ham for breakfast do I slave over adding spinach or kale at the precise measurements for a nutritious and color balance? No way, I just add a couple of drops of food coloring and chop up whatever lunch meat I have on had and call it ham (today it was smoked turkey). And if the green is more minty then grassy, well that's okay too.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that there are days when I wake up possessed by the urge to be one of 'those' moms. It seems to occur mostly around the holidays. My own mother went nuts around the holidays. We had heart shaped cookies for valentines day, homemade costumes and jack-o-lanterns for Halloween, and Christmas came with a tree, a nativity scene and jingle bells on the door. While I have fond memories of all this stuff, I don't really have any memories of these things bringing my mother joy. I remember that she made the cookies late at night after we went to bed, and I think she felt she had to do it. While I want to pass on some of these wonderful memories to my own children, I am striving to let go of the stress part. (I am not always successful) I am hoping to include the kids in the process, and if we don't have perfect heart shaped cookies - oh well.

I am so blessed to have kids with their own wonderful imaginations. So, in a way they are helping me save myself from me. I mean when you have a 3 year old who puts his clothes on backwards, because he can, it's easy to dream up "backwards day" and the fun just creates itself. No magazines or Assembly required.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8nVVffZRck

okay, really you just have to click this and watch. Happy October.