Little Red

It was a glorious weekend here in Portland.  And in between spring cleaning inside and out, we found time for some play.

Ms L came to me and told me, it was time to for the play, "Little Red Riding Hood."  Well, naturally I assumed I would get to sit back and watch as my delightful and creative children put the play on for me.  I plopped down a little patch of grass and waited.  Ms L looked at me, with that look that says, "what are you doing, Mother?"  SIGH.... I knew that sitting on my butt, soaking up sunshine and culture was not quite how she envisioned my role.

"Now, first we need a forest." Ms L directed.
"Can't we just imagine it?"
"No, you need to get the sidewalk chalk out and draw 500 trees."
"500?! How about 2?" I ask attempting to keep the (oh, lord why does this always happen when Patrick isn't home tone out of my voice.)
"100." Herr director says.
"Three," I say.  (I'm not very fair in the art of negotiations.)
"Fifteen, sounds like a good compromise" N, who up to this point wanted nothing to do with any of it, suddenly interjects into the conversation.
"Okaaaayy....fifteen, but they have to look like maple trees."

Trust me, I drew 15.  Although I confess, some of them might 

have looked more like saplings then full grown trees.

Next came the directions to make houses for Little Red, the Woodcutter and Grandmother.  I decided to become the production manager on this ever growing production and roped N into taking over scenic design and execution.  Below is Grandmothers house.  Apparently, according to N, she lives in an apartment building: 

 

 

 

 

Grandmother's apartment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is the Woodcutter's home, complete with place to hang his ax:

Woodcutter's home

I was pressed into making the home for Little Red.  Ms. L added a vase and real flowers:

There was never any doubt who would be Little Red:

We didn't have a hooded cape.  So, Ms L decided that the Wolf, on Little Red's last trip through the forest, ate the hood off of this cape.

N, didn't want to be the Woodcutter.  So, after much deliberation it was decided that he could be the Woodcutter's assistant who was also a Ninja-Karate master.  (although at some point in the rehearsal process, he ditched that role to become a roommate of Grandmother's.  Thus allowing him to not have to do anything but sit and read books)

Fierce Woodcutter's assistant

And now the story:

Once upon a time Little Red went walking through the forest.  Because we had no one to be the wolf, N drew a "Bongo" tiger.  (apparently they are not fierce, and literally play the bongos.)  It was my job to make the sound effects:

Bongo tiger - see bongo under front paws?

Little Red was too fast for the Bongo Tiger. His fierce drumming would not get the best of her! She ran to Grandmother's home.  Where Grandmother (that would be me) and her roommate were waiting. 

"Knock, Knock.  May I come in?"
 "Sure, C'mon in!"
"No, you're supposed to ask if I'm the wolf or not"
"Sigh... Who is it?  Are you the scary wolf?"
"No, it's me Little Red"
"C'mon in"
"Look I brought you chicken, goodies to eat.  There's even maple syrup, from my maple trees in the forest."   

    We then proceeded to "eat" all the goodies she brought us.  Little Red then bid us adieu and went back to her house, on the other side of the forest.   We did this play, and several variations of it, 6 times.  Each time the scenes would get more elaborate.  At one point the Invisible wolf (Ms. L got tired of waiting for Daddy to come home from work, and N refused to be anything but a baby Bongo tiger by version 4) trapped Ms L in a drying rack:

blurry, because she was in a hurry to be free of the wolf!

 Ms L could have done this production all night long.  But, eventually her co-stars grew weary (and hungry) and began to improvise more then she would have liked.  Luckily, she was handed a perfect excuse to end the shenanigans, 
"the sun is starting to set.  It's time to go inside.  End of Play."

The sun, with an Orange.  By Ms. L

 

Thor, Darth Vader and vivid imaginations

Just a slice of life in the Wohlmut household.




Yesterday on the way to school N had a conversation with Thor.  Yes, Thor - God of Thunder.  N wanted to make sure that Thor would wait until everyone was asleep before he started to cry (thus making it rain).  Apparently, N talks to the gods all the time.

Later in the day I asked why Thor was crying.   Once he started talking I knew I'd want to remember his response so I scribbled down his response as fast as I could.  And I share it here with you.


Wait Mom, I can read the god's minds you know.  (He closes his eyes and begins to concentrate).  
Oh, dear! This is Terrible! Zeus was attacked by a Cyclops and the Cyclops swallowed Thor's hammer.  Thor had to go and buy a new hammer, but don't worry he has lots and lots of riches.
Before he smashed the Cyclops to death the cyclops sank his teeth into Thor's arm and now it's bleeding.  I think that's why he's crying (it was pouring outside at this time).


Did you know I'm also a fortune teller to the gods?  Yeah, they call me Mr. Fortune Teller.  I think fortune telling is my mutant power.  Otherwise I'm just an ordinary kid.


Oh, my darling boy... there is nothing ordinary about you.  We are delighted in your imagination and story telling abilities.  We cannot wait to see where it takes you.


And then there's Ms L.  I'm sure some of you have seen this meme .  Well, Ms. L LOVES it.  And she wrote a little song about it and sang it...a lot.  I may try and get it one video for you, but for now you'll have to settle for the lyrics.

My name is Darth Vader and I wanted to do something silly.  So I rode my unicycle in a SKIRT! down Hawthorne.  And I played the bag pipes. Oh oh oh Darth Vader is such a silly man.  


Yeah, it loses a bit without the tune, but again we are so delighted to have another child with a wonderful imagination and joie de vive.

Rock n Roll

So, do you think she loves rock n roll?

Stayed tuned.  Next we'll have a video starring "Bob".

I’m five. I like to say I”m 5 ½ (because my brother is always saying he’s 6 3/4). Mom says that’s not really true, me being 5 ½, as I just turned 5 in January. But, I still say it anyway. I say it and lots of things these days. I’m not trying to impress you with my word skills, I’ve been talking for a long LONG time now. No, what I’m trying to impress upon you is that I talk, and talk, and talk a lot. I love to talk. I love to explain things and tell stories. I really like to sing. Mommy says some days with me are like living in the middle of an opera. I’ll sit in the reading corner and sing about my day. Sometimes I’ll cook in my little kitchen and sing about the eggs I’m making or the chicken soup. If you’re really lucky I might put on one of my ‘fancy’ dresses and invite you to a tea party. While I’m serving you lemon meringue tea with milk and sugar, I might just sing you a song about string, but probably it will be about kitties. I like to sing.

I read now. I don’t think I’m ready for chapter books yet, too many words! Mommy says I can read chapter books if I want to, but I don’t. So, I read other books. Sometimes, when N puts his Star Wars books down (which is not often) I will pick them up and read them. They’re like chapter books only with comics. N told me what that kind of book is called, but I forget. I really like to read books over and over again. In the evenings I like to read books out loud to Mommy before bed. Sometimes we read together. Then I get to pick which character I am. I like to be Fancy Nancy and Sister bear a lot. Sometimes I like to read all the girl parts. Mommy says she doesn’t mind being the boy. She does funny voices sometimes. Sometimes that’s okay, but sometimes it just hurts my ears and I ask her to stop.



I am no longer afraid of the hair dryer or the shower. I still don’t like lawn mowers, the vacuum or loud movies. But my “Neema” gave me a great pair of earmuffs last year on the 4th of July. Now whenever things are too loud I can put my earmuffs on and it’s not so bad. I still prefer it if Daddy takes me for a walk when Mommy vacuums, but that’s not always possible.



N and I are getting along pretty well these days. We play lots of make believe games. Sometimes we get into arguments over which game to play or how to play. Our imaginations are pretty big and sometimes we each think our way is the best. Mommy and Daddy usually tell us to “work it out” but sometimes they have to help, especially when I cry.



I like wearing my hair in pigtails now and think that roller skating is lots of fun. I am super excited about started kindergarten in the fall. N and I wish we were twins so that I could already be in school with him. But, N says he’ll show me around the school and might even talk to me at recess. I can’t wait.

I love to do housework and wish Mommy would let me wash the dishes every day. She’s afraid I’ll cut myself or maybe let the water dump out all over the floor. I promise to be careful, but usually she just distracts me by asking me to dust instead. She does let me clean the bathroom mirror and sort the laundry. I don’t know why N doesn’t like to do these things, he doesn’t know what he missing!

I’m five and that’s pretty great.

Saturday Chores

Let's face it, it would be easier just to do it myself.  The chores I mean.  After all things have to be done "right", right?   Wrong.

I admit it's hard for me to watch the kids do things the "wrong" way.    I realize they are only 5 and 6,  no wait excuse me 6 and 3/4,  years old.  I have to swallow my first reaction when I see their "made" beds.   But, when see their faces and the pride in their eyes over the job they did, I melt.   So what if the blankets aren't smooth?  They put the blankets and all the animals back on the bed, which is what I asked of them.  And that's good enough for now. (and no, I did not go back and smooth out the blankets, tempted yes.....)

My kids love to note their accomplishments.  So, this week I made a list of our Saturday chores.  I included myself on the list. As everyone completed their jobs a name or initial was put in the box.  (Lest you think Patrick is a slacker, he has classes all day, so he is exempt from this list).  Ms. L raced around the house to get her jobs done and in fact wanted to more.  She also, dusted and wiped down the tables and chairs in the kitchen.   N moved a bit slower but did his jobs without complaint (which is saying a lot these days)

Go team!

What I didn't expect was that they would want to wash the dishes.  I shouldn't have been surprised  after all, it's an activity that involves water and bubbles.  However, I wasn't ready to relinquish control of clean dishes quite yet.  At first I tried to discourage them from joining it, but then I thought about the importance of letting them help, teaching them new things and the road to independence (which is what we want them to walk on some day, right)  So, I took a deep breath and said, "yes you can help".  I asked them if they would be willing to be in charge of rinsing and stacking the dishes in the drainer.  Hoorays all around!  I got clean dishes (and no one cut themselves on hidden by suds knifes) and the kids played in the water, and learned new skills.

On a side note I'm always surprised by people who say "your kids clear their own dishes?" or "how do you get them to do chores?"  Sometimes people imply that it's a little soon for that kind of responsibility.  Well to those people I say, I respectfully disagree.  Do they always do it as cheerfully as they did today?  Hell no.  There are plenty of days when there are squabbles over who's turn it is to set the table or whining about, " Why do we always have to......"     But, it's important.  And as for how do we get our kids to do it, well they know what our expectations are and we follow through on making sure they carry them out.  It's pretty amazing how kids will meet our expectations if we just set them.

So, whenever I'm inclined to do it myself or fix it... I remember that it's not really about perfect beds or perfectly folded clothes.  It's about instilling a sense of accomplishment and pride in doing things yourself.  It's about understanding that we all contribute to the household, and thus the world at large.  And it's about moving them down that road to independence one baby step at a time.  After all since the day they were born we've been readying them to fly on their own.  

2012  - Happy New Year.  I don't know if it will be a better year, but it will be a different year.

I wish you all many adventures in the new year.  I also wish us all peace. 

Happy Freakin' New Year

True story - Paperclips and parenting 101

"If you don't put that paperclip down you're going to poke your eye out.  Then there you'll be in the back seat of the car trapped in your car seat with your eyeball poked out.  And then, because you are 6 and 1/2 and you can't help yourself, you'll pull the paperclip and your eyeball right out f your head.  Then where will you be?  Sitting in the backseat with your eyeball on the end of a paperclip and you'll just keep staring at it with your good eye and screamin' "AHHHHH!!!!!!"   Do you think your father or I will care?  No, we're just going to be getting the story ready in our minds.  The story that we will forever taunt you with year after year as well tell it every holiday season.  It will be known as, '2011, the year Noah poked his eyeball out screwing around with an unbent paperclip in the backseat of the car' story.  Is that how you want to remember your 7th Christmas on this earth?  Yeah, I didn't think so, give me the paperclip and find something better to do with your time."

True Story.   

I'm thinking about giving out parenting advice in 2012, clearly I've got the communication skills down.