I admit it's hard for me to watch the kids do things the "wrong" way. I realize they are only 5 and 6, no wait excuse me 6 and 3/4, years old. I have to swallow my first reaction when I see their "made" beds. But, when see their faces and the pride in their eyes over the job they did, I melt. So what if the blankets aren't smooth? They put the blankets and all the animals back on the bed, which is what I asked of them. And that's good enough for now. (and no, I did not go back and smooth out the blankets, tempted yes.....)
On a side note I'm always surprised by people who say "your kids clear their own dishes?" or "how do you get them to do chores?" Sometimes people imply that it's a little soon for that kind of responsibility. Well to those people I say, I respectfully disagree. Do they always do it as cheerfully as they did today? Hell no. There are plenty of days when there are squabbles over who's turn it is to set the table or whining about, " Why do we always have to......" But, it's important. And as for how do we get our kids to do it, well they know what our expectations are and we follow through on making sure they carry them out. It's pretty amazing how kids will meet our expectations if we just set them.
So, whenever I'm inclined to do it myself or fix it... I remember that it's not really about perfect beds or perfectly folded clothes. It's about instilling a sense of accomplishment and pride in doing things yourself. It's about understanding that we all contribute to the household, and thus the world at large. And it's about moving them down that road to independence one baby step at a time. After all since the day they were born we've been readying them to fly on their own.
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My kids love to note their accomplishments. So, this week I made a list of our Saturday chores. I included myself on the list. As everyone completed their jobs a name or initial was put in the box. (Lest you think Patrick is a slacker, he has classes all day, so he is exempt from this list). Ms. L raced around the house to get her jobs done and in fact wanted to more. She also, dusted and wiped down the tables and chairs in the kitchen. N moved a bit slower but did his jobs without complaint (which is saying a lot these days)
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| Go team! |
What I didn't expect was that they would want to wash the dishes. I shouldn't have been surprised after all, it's an activity that involves water and bubbles. However, I wasn't ready to relinquish control of clean dishes quite yet. At first I tried to discourage them from joining it, but then I thought about the importance of letting them help, teaching them new things and the road to independence (which is what we want them to walk on some day, right) So, I took a deep breath and said, "yes you can help". I asked them if they would be willing to be in charge of rinsing and stacking the dishes in the drainer. Hoorays all around! I got clean dishes (and no one cut themselves on hidden by suds knifes) and the kids played in the water, and learned new skills.
On a side note I'm always surprised by people who say "your kids clear their own dishes?" or "how do you get them to do chores?" Sometimes people imply that it's a little soon for that kind of responsibility. Well to those people I say, I respectfully disagree. Do they always do it as cheerfully as they did today? Hell no. There are plenty of days when there are squabbles over who's turn it is to set the table or whining about, " Why do we always have to......" But, it's important. And as for how do we get our kids to do it, well they know what our expectations are and we follow through on making sure they carry them out. It's pretty amazing how kids will meet our expectations if we just set them.
So, whenever I'm inclined to do it myself or fix it... I remember that it's not really about perfect beds or perfectly folded clothes. It's about instilling a sense of accomplishment and pride in doing things yourself. It's about understanding that we all contribute to the household, and thus the world at large. And it's about moving them down that road to independence one baby step at a time. After all since the day they were born we've been readying them to fly on their own.
1 comment:
AMEN sister! Of course kids should have chores, their own stuff at first and then household ones. Kids who don't have chores are fairly easy to spot. Their parents are running around after them all the time fussing about - do you need a coat, wear your mittens, etc. Delaney just helped me dust and I asked her if she would like to be in charge of that chore and she said yes, she also likes to sweep and mop. Do I do again after she goes to bed, sometimes. I got postively giddy the other day when her room was a total pit and then when I went in there before we left for errands, it was all picked up, on her own, without my asking or prompting at all. Progress.
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